Tom loved his sisters but their prying into his personal life was getting out of hand.
1. His truth was soon to be realized if his snoopy sisters continued their search. He loved them too much to let them get that close. He had to stop them somehow.
2. He had always felt like they were searching for something. Something to use against him, something that would condemn him. This sibling rivalry was turning into a nightmare.
3. An intervention they call it? Feels more like an attack.
4. I humor them, but they play me like a pawn. I’m not ready to meet someone again. It’s too soon. I wish they would mind their own business.
5. Why couldn’t I be an only child?
He held his nose in disgust as he walked past the overflowing rubbish bin for the third time that day.
1. When did taking the garbage out become my responsibility? It is her turn.
2. Plugging my nose couldn’t disguise the poisonous smell that lingered; the rot of our last meal together tangled amidst stories of strangers.
3. Motivation was missing, desire gone, the papers would stay there and the garbage would continue to rise.
4. How could only two people make so much trash, I refuse to take the trash out a second time today.
5. “What is that smell?” Alex said in disgust. “Mostly tuna fish a hint of diaper with some rotten milk on the side” Jane said in reply. “It is part of your chores you have still not finished.”
2 comments:
I love that you could sum it all up in in easy question "why couldn't i be an only child?" see how easily you can change the entire tone of something just by rephrasing it? :)
also, i think my favorite from the second set is #2 about "the rot of our last meal"...sounds intriguing and provides great sensory detail.
I really like the third and fifth ones in the first set. 1-because I have had those same thoughts in terms of my siblings and can very much relate (also with #1 in the second set) :) and 2-because I stive (fruitlessly) to be more succint. You seem to have that ability. In the second set I really enjoyed two and three. I thought that, not only did they provide great sensory detail as Erin mentioned, but emotion was also felt in both of them.
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