Okay, so I am new at this blogging thing and very new at sharing my writing but I am so excited to get feedback and learn from everybody, thanks for letting me be a part of this, sorry I didn't post last month, I will try to be better! And here it is . . . (hopefully it isn't too painful for you guys! :) I hope I wasn't too vague with the ending, I tried to stay to the word limit and thought it would be fun to let people decide on their own what they think happened. Let me know what you think.)
It was a witchy house: the low-slung roof; that quiet grey paint; those squinting, shuttered windows; and the empty porch rocker that rocked, rocked, rocked day and night. All these years I had been terrified of it. Never did I imagine that I would be standing in the entrance, preparing myself for its magnificence. I compose myself as completely as I can and push my foot forward with the adrenaline that is now flushing through my system. What is happening? I need to get to him. The house seemed to double in size. Tears began to blur my vision.
I turned into the kitchen; beautiful white marble everywhere was coated with layers of dust making it seem like granite, my fingers made prints on the counter tops, letting the stone shine through and bringing a thread of light into the house. He wasn’t there. The kitchen ended at the dining room where the table was set for 12 but the crystal glasses had webs in them instead of wine. Old candles that once had been lit lie broken on the lace tablecloth. How could something so remarkable be so endlessly frightening? I passed the elevators hoping I was headed in the right direction. I saw a hall. It went on forever, but in which direction, I wasn’t sure.
I felt as though I were walking on the ceiling, the pressure building in my head as the walls tightened and swiveled. Winding through the darkness, I used my hands as guides, not feeling any doors, not knowing where I would end and what I would find when I got there, I only hoped it would be him and it wouldn’t be too late. It was difficult to breathe now as I found the door and realized it was. I begged them without success. There was nothing else I, as a weak human, could do. I joined them, not understanding but giving myself to their power anyway so I could be with him. It was my only option. Things have never been the same since.
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4 comments:
court, nice suspense in your second paragraph! i love the imagery in the first paragraph, but things started to get more vague in the second, mostly i think because this writing prompt didn't give us a full story, so we're just reading tiny excerpts of everyone's stories. i would love to change the format for the group a little so that we can each be working on continuous stories (with maybe shorter assignments like these in between). otherwise they're too hard to analyze or critique, you know? we'll send out an email and see what people think.
You did a great job with this. It reminded me a lot of Stephenie Meyer's writing. Especially her teaser-style prologues that leave you longing for more. Isn't fantasy fun to write? I agree with Erin, by the way--I would love input on longer projects, and this is a great forum.
You are always great when it comes to description. Whether you are explaining in person, or on paper! HELP ME! It would be nice to see you lengthen this into a short story, or novella.
Thanks for all of your comments and advice guys! Longer projects sound like fun, I will look forward to the email!!
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